Nov 23 2009


2012This weekend we went to see the mother-of-all-disaster-porn movies “2012“. If you’ve been living in a hermit’s cave the last few years, you may have missed the rumor that the Mayan Calendar ends in 2012 thereby signifying the end of the world! So what if it’s only the end of the Fourth World, we’ve got a movie to make!

I had no expectations that the movie would be good and in that regard, I wasn’t disappointed. This is not to say that the movie wasn’t entertaining! Conflict? Not really… Sometimes you just have to shut-off parts of your brain in order to enjoy yourself. With 2012, the part you need to switch-off is the thinking part (well, maybe everything except the occipital lobe). Just sit there in front of the large screen of your choice and wait for the world to break apart and its nameless inhabitants to fall into yawning crevices, burn in fiery explosions, and drown by the millions (billions?). What could be more entertaining? It also doesn’t hurt to continually remind yourself that shamelessly sampling other disaster flicks is okay these days (it’s like cinematic Hip Hop!)! It’s not like anybody remembers: “Miracle Mile“, “Independence Day“, “The Day After Tomorrow“, and “Earthquake” anyhow! Who needs original ideas as long as our memories are short and the CGI is good… More fluoride for me, thanks!

Oh… you’re looking for story, character development, plot twists, some mystery, chemistry between characters, maybe even some comedy? Well… There’s plenty of that in other movies, why waste time with that stuff when you could watch beautifully rendered images of California slipping into the sea, the Yellowstone super-volcano revisiting it’s 70,000 year old past, tectonic plates sliding around the earth (in observable- rather than geologic- time), floods crashing through every major city of the world (“How long can you tread water?” thanks Cos!), and a spirited John Cusack (who has come a long way since “Sixteen Candles“) jumping flaming canyons in a Winnebago!

So, I guess what I’m saying is before the movie starts, remove your brain and put it in a jar… and try to remember not to leave it under your seat when you leave. All points for effects!

Not worth quoting…

3 out of 5